Vehuaih & Bael: How to Begin When Everything is Stacked Against You

What does it take to begin? It takes an immensity of energy.

In the moment of creation, one must muster up all from within.

It is to say with conviction, “I will”, take a deep breath in and with everything you have, you exhale as you thrust forwards to take the very first step.

Thus is how God created the universe.

(according to Kabbalah)

Before any-thing, infinity filled all space.

There was no room for anything else to exist, because pure, unmanifest divinity occupied everything.

There was a necessary contraction. A necessary separation. It was a withdrawal.

God held His breath, pulled His infinite light inward toward a central point, and created a vacant space, a dark void where “not-God” could exist.

God had to separate from Himself to make room for a universe.

Thus is the necessary process of separation required for something new.

To be in the dark, in the cold, complete silence, with no fire. To be on the brink of death, and to strike but one spark from the sheer force of your own weight, grinding rock against wood under desperate pressure—in that moment is everything. It is a spark of beauty in a terrible void of isolation, darkness, and nothingness.

There is a terrible necessity of the void.

There is friction required to ignite potential.

Bael: The King of the East

Bael is the first principle spirit, the very first of the Goetic Demons. He is a ruling King commanding 66 legions of infernal spirits in the East.

The sun rises in the East. Bael rules the quiet moment right before anything happens. He rules the void before the spark.

“BAEL.—The First Principal Spirit is a King ruling in the East, called Bael. He maketh thee to go Invisible. He ruleth over 66 Legions of Infernal Spirits.
He appeareth in divers shapes, sometimes like a Cat, sometimes like a Toad, and sometimes like a Man, and sometimes all these forms at once. He speaketh hoarsely.

This is his character which is used to be worn as & Lamen before him who calleth him forth, or else he will not do thee homage.” – Ars Goetia

His chief power is Invisibility—the ability to render the magician unseen or to make one’s affairs hidden from enemies and observers. He can control the weather. Spread or cure disease. He can fight snakes.

When you are making the space for something new, when you are breaking away from an old dynamic, you must go dark, silent, alone. Bael is the egoic instinct of separation that keeps your plans secret. He is the cloak of your momentum. He lets you operate in stealth until you are strong enough to stand. He is the determination to survive in the void.

He is the grunt made when something is being done with incredible force and power. He is the push of a mother that is giving birth. He is the refusal to yield. He is the part of you who takes control and claims dominion. He is authoritative, stubborn, and hardened. He brings you favored rulership. He is how you hold your ground when faced with opposition. He is you when you put your foot down, point your finger and say “not today” or “this is mine”. He is the feeling you get when you have the instinct to punch someone in the face.

Bael is the drive that protects the self, draws a line in the sand, and refuses to let the external world break or invade your territory. He is much needed. He is protective of that which is fragile and hides it before it’s time.

Yet Bael does not negotiate. There is a complete drop in temperature and a change in weather. His power erupts without warning. He takes the other completely off guard. He distracts and deflects so as not to see what is being built. He controls the narrative. Obscures motive. He takes hold of power abruptly by manipulation and deceit. He is incredibly strategic. He is incredibly cunning and wise. He lurks before he strikes.

Bael is great to work with in moments of your life when you are feeling extra fragile and sensitive. If you are not yet who you are working up to become, he will be there for you. He will act as a warm blanket that comforts your vulnerability while making you appear to others as competent.

When others are trampling over you and not seeing your worth and vision you will need him. When you need to stick up for yourself and protect things that are important to you he is there. If you want to make something happen, he will help you. When your boundaries have been crossed and you are not being given respect over your autonomy or rank he will force you to know your worth. He will give you a fierce anger that gives you the awareness of how you have been wronging yourself or been wronged by others. That anger may be the power you need to get out of a powerless state.

Fear at times makes you push him away. Why are you afraid to embody your own sovereignty? Is what you should ask yourself when you feel yourself not letting him in. Pushing him away when you need him will make things worse because then you will not be able to quiet the noise of what tries to stop you from achieving your goals. You will become distracted by how you are perceived and you won’t be able to have the capacity to begin. you will feel desperate, alone and in the dark, you will feel trampled on by the world around you.

Bael can easily be taken to an extreme if you are not sensitive to others. It is easy to see him in tyrannical leaders. When someone is being overly defensive, rigid, and angry they are likely unknowingly working closely with Bael out of need to protect themselves or what they have. His energy is very consuming and intoxicating.

He can make your feet and calves go numb because your energy is not contained and it is difficult for you to surrender yourself to service, if this happens you must loosen up the hold you have on yourself and your possessions let the energy move through you without holding onto it, holding onto it is you trying to preserve your self dignity, you do not need to hold onto it to be dignified. You need to let go of trying to be so in control of everything. This can become a chronic issue, you may see it in old men.

To get on the same page with him (in yourself or others) you must not try and intrude on what boundaries he is setting, he has no desire to reason with you and you must accept that in order to disarm him. You must softly understand and not be intimidated. Do not try and poke at what he is trying to hide or else he will attack. Do not get distracted when he attacks. He will need to feel like it is okay without you soothing him. You must respect him, and show him that you understand why what he defends is important. He is extremely intelligent and very vigilant so it is best this is genuine, he will not take you trying to fool him lightly.

Remember that Bael is the fortress, not the king inside it. He is the blocking of the wind so your fire can catch. He is not the fire itself. If you forget this, if you let his armor become your skin, you will wake up isolated in a castle of your own making, frozen from the legs down, unable to feel the earth or let anyone in. Use his shadow to build. Use his stealth to protect your vision. But do not fall in love with the cloak. When the spark inside you catches flame and you are strong enough to stand in your full light, step out from behind his shield. Do not let the guardian become the tyrant. Know when to put the armor on, and have the courage to take it off.

Vehuaiah: The Exulting God

Vehuaiah (???) is the first angel of the Shem HaMephorash. His name means “The Exulting God”

He belongs to the Choir of Seraphim (the “Burning Ones”) governed by the Archangel Metatron.

Divine Name Root: Vav-Heh-Vav (?-?-?). “Time Travel”

Traditional Verse: Psalm 3:3 — “But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.”

Vehuaiah endows immense, willpower. He grants the capacity to undertake difficult tasks, create new paradigms, execute grand endeavors, and overcome that which prevents action. He carries the power of illumination and raw creativity.

He is the sudden rise of posture you get when you decide you are done suffering. He is the deep breath in right before you shatter your own limits. He is you looking in the mirror and remembering your worth.

He is the returning to origin. He is you when you access the root of your soul and return back to your uncorrupted state. He is you remembering who you were before pain. He is you recalling the original intentions of why this matters in the first place. He is the restoration of innocence.

Vehuaiah reminds of the value and goodness you once saw before things got difficult. What was important before the world told you that you weren’t. He cuts through the noise of disillusionment that defeats and paralyses you.

He erupts in you passion and bestows creative ideas that elevate the circumstance.

He is you who says “they don’t believe I can do it, they don’t believe it can be done, but I am going to show them”.

He is the ability and vision to see what is there in potential not just what is there in actuality.

He is the remembrance of what is good, right and true and the willpower to stand on the grounds of it. He is the fire in you that makes life worth defending.

He is who stands up to stop the bully in the playground, when it is not his business and everyone stands by with passivity.

He is the swallowing of pride. The voice that speaks amidst injustice. He is the nail who sticks out and gets the hammer.

It takes an immense and unreasonable amount of courage to be the only one willing to bite the bullet only because truth, because God, demands it.

Vehuaiah is the raw, exposed nerve of passion. When you move with him you are a spotlight in a room of shadows and darkness. You are the one who is crazy as you dance to the music that others can’t hear. You most definitely are inviting attack and your ignorance to admit otherwise will get you hurt and in trouble.

When you go up against the world, the world will try and stop you. When you step forward with transparent conviction, you are completely visible and naked. Everyone can spot you. You expose your most fragile, nascent creation to the cynicism, jealousy, and interference of others before it has the mass to defend itself from the masses.

There are far too many that profit from complacency for you to try and stop things for the greater good. When you stand up for truth amidst the corruption and assume the people will bow in gratitude, your innocence has caused you to suffer from your naivety. To be an “exulting God” in a world of ungodliness, will get you killed.

The world is full of friction. To walk into a room raw, open, and completely sensitive without an outer structure is to invite being trampled all over again. You will become burnt out and there will be a desperate need for recovery that will delay your efforts to make things in the way that you are intended to.

How to Begin When Everything is Stacked Against You

When the world and your burdens seems larger than your ability to do anything about it, accept that you need some space and time to yourself.

What is stacked so high? Let yourself for this moment sink into the smallness that you feel.

Identify where you are being trampled or drained. What has been eating away at your passion and life force? Why do you feel defeated?

Where do you need to stand up for yourself more? Where are you being taken advantage of? Where do you need to set a boundary for yourself and say “no”.

Here’s the truth: you wouldn’t be here right now reading these words if you were not meant to accomplish your dreams. You would not be here unless you have had an experience that snuffed out your passion, your innovation, your innocence. And right where you are, you can get it back, and you will come back stronger than before. 

(To be continued, working on this! come back later for more, lots of love! Sydney)

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